Just Let Me Be

02/28/2009 at 11:00 AM | In Thought | 4 Comments
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Not much to say today, not in the mood to share my thoughts or opinions on things. I will say that I am sick of people that I don’t know coming on here and trying to shove religion in my face.

Please stop. I will decide some day whether I am ready for Religion or GOD for that matter, the more people I don’t know push it in my face, the more I want to back away.

So just let me be, I will decide what is best for me as far as GOD and Religion go. I constantly hear or see people say that I need to pray, well it seems all that time I am wasting on prayer, I could be looking for work.

Just butt out of my religious feelings.

**This is meant for the people that only know me through the blog, not the people I actually have spoke to in the real world.**

Just another angry day

02/27/2009 at 9:47 AM | In Complain | 6 Comments
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So I decided to go to Miami Beach for a day or two to clear my head. I know I really should have kept the money that I got for more important things, but I needed a change of scenery.

I am tired of Fort Lauderdale, and unfortunately I am stuck there. I really hate being there now, because I had a taste of what it was like to have my own space, and feel like a person again.

They claim that all things happen for a reason, well what is the reason that I can not have any happiness in my life? What did I do to have God hate me so much? It seems every time something good starts to happen for me, it gets fucked up.

I know now, that I can not expect the good things that happen in my life to last long. I have been let down one too many times.

Pissed Off

02/26/2009 at 10:42 AM | In Ranting | 3 Comments
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I am so pissed off today, it is even funny. I was told today, that I had to leave my place. I am not going to get into details about it, but I will say I am very pissed off at my situation again.

I was finally moving in the right direction, and because of some shit that had been going on around the house the last few days, we all get punished. This is the exact reason why I wonder if it is worth the effort and time to keep trying.

What the fuck is the point? Every time I think something is working out, some bullshit screws it up.

So, without really needing to say it, I am very fucking pissed today.

Cleaning House

02/23/2009 at 10:55 AM | In Daily | 4 Comments
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Over the weekend I got really bored at the house, and I decided to do some cleaning on my own. I didn’t mind the cleaning, it is the things that I found around the house that bothered me.

While I was cleaning the kitchen, I was going through the cupboards under the sink, and I found two dead rats. At first I thought they were mice, until I pulled them out and seen the size of them. They were the size of a small kitten, and to make matters worse, they were laying inside of a large pan and that makes me wonder how long they had been there, before I discovered them.

As I continued to clean the kitchen, I found alot of old spoiled food, especially in the refrigerator I guess the guys feel there isn’t a need to clean out the fridge that often. I found food that had more hair on it, than I have on my head, and I have a lot of hair. Also while I was in the refrigerator, I found a bottle of vodka stashed away in the very bottom. I am not really sure what the purpose of vodka is in a church ran shelter. Maybe it is a new holy water that I didn’t know about.

After I finished with the kitchen, I went and scrubbed the bathroom, that was an absolutely disgusting mess. The toilet looked like it hadn’t seen a cleaning in this century. When I wiped it down, the rag that I was using, which was white, turned as black as coal. The whole bathroom smelled like old urine and shit. I almost threw up it was smelling so bad in the bathroom. But now it is clean, and it smells like a bathroom should. Unfortunately I am not sure what that scent is.

I cleaned various other areas around the house, such as the back deck, two closets and our back room. Cleaning the house was ok, I won’t make it my weekend ritual, only if I get really, really bored.

The last few days

02/22/2009 at 9:46 AM | In Daily | 1 Comment

Sorry I haven’t posted in a few days but I haven’t had the time to do any writing. I have been volunteering alot lately at the store and cleaning alot around this house. So with that said, there hasn’t been a lot going on around here. For the last few days it has been exceptionally quiet, considering the two guys that do alot of the drinking have been staying at their friend’s place next door.

As for myself I am still looking for work. I am hoping that soon something will come along. I am really not wanting to have to spend all day everyday at the store, if I can’t find work in 30 days. It isn’t that I hate the store, I just can’t stand standing around all day hoping for something to happen there. Most of our days are spent there reorganizing things that have been organized 50 times.

Today I will be going to church with the guys and then we will be going to feed the guys on the streets in the park this evening. I look forward to it, because it gives me a chance to catch up with my friends that are still on the street.

I know things will settle down in my life and things will work out, I just have to have patience and always keep hope alive in my life.

Study, Uncle & Remembering

02/18/2009 at 11:02 AM | In Ranting | 3 Comments
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I spent most of my day at the Thrift Store yesterday, and then we went back to the store in the evening for Bible Study. When we got to the study last night, it started out like a typical Bible Study, but is soon became more of a person yacking at us.

As everyone knows it takes alot for me to do anything involving religion or God. So, when I go to these Bible Sessions, I try to go there with an open mind and I just get through them. Most the time I don’t have any issues with getting too bored. But last night, the guy that was preaching to us, was going on and on, about how there are some evil people in the church next to the thrift store.

He was claiming because of the evil presence that was in the congregation in that church, it was causing all sort so bad things to go on with the store and the church that he runs. I am sorry, I don’t believe in evil spirits and shit like that. I think that bad things happen to people because of poor planning or making bad decisions, not because some evil force is trying to manipulate your life.

Anyway, I sat and listened to this guy go on for an hour last night. And after was all said and done, I have no clue what the hell he was getting at, or what it was I was supposed to have learned. All I do know is that we got up and prayed for him and someone there started speaking in tongue. To me it was a waste of time and energy. But sadly I am required to go to these things, in order to keep that roof over my head.

As for other things in my life, not much has changed, still mourning my uncles death. The funeral was yesterday for him. I was unable to get there, because of it being in Michigan. My thoughts are with my family, especially my Aunt Barb and my two cousins.

Speaking of death, tomorrow will be three years since my dad died from brain cancer. So, not only am I upset over my uncles passing, but I also the whole day tomorrow to think about my dad. It’s just not going to be a happy couple of days .

So do me a favor everyone, give all your loved ones a hug. Because you never know how long they will be here.

Eventful House

02/16/2009 at 11:41 AM | In Daily | 3 Comments
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The last few days around the house have been interesting to say the least. The guys that work, they tend to get a little drunk and it leads to interesting conversations at the house. Saturday night, two of the guys were drinking quite heavily and alot of things were said to different people that stirred up anger.

I was one of the guys that had some rude things said to me. As you know my uncle passed away, and I have been dealing with that as well as the transition to the house. Anyway, one of the guys, told me that I needed to be a man, and quit feeling sad about my uncles passing. He said “Shit Happens” and that I needed to let it go, it is in the past.

Well, that pissed off one of the other guys as well as me, and the other guy almost got into a fight over it, defending my feelings. So, the guy that stood up for me, we ended up taking a ride at midnight, and we talked. Hoping that things would be calm when we got back, which they were.

When we got back, the two guys were still drinking and carrying on out back, so I went in and laid down to go to sleep. About 3:30 am or so, they decided to call it a night. When they came in they were loud as hell, and I guess they woke up one of the head guys in the house. Because he came back there and told both of them he was sick of the shit and that they were done, they needed to find another place to go.

After that was said, it got quiet and everyone slept. Later in the morning, most of us got up to get ready for church, except for the two that got hammered the night before. Well last night four guys were kicked out of the house for the night. When one of them came back to get clothes for today, he noticed that three of us were in the house not kicked out.

I tried to talk to him, but he blew me off. I really don’t need the guys thinking I am getting favored over them. I don’t have many friends and the ones I do have here, I am trying to keep. So I hope when I get back to the house this evening, every one will be calm and there won’t be a bunch of pointing fingers and such. I guess all I can do is wait and see what happens.

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